I Think This Could Be The Opening To My Book

Tonight, I exhaled, for probably the first time in nearly three years.

I have been told by many that this day would come, and that I would know it when it hit. They were right.

Tonight, in the spirit of purging that has taken over my existence since I began unpacking at my new house, I decided to tackle my three tiny desk drawers-- you know-- for good measure. I mean, if you're going to be thorough, you might as well invade every nook and cranny. Sure enough, my top drawer was a creative assortment of laptop cables, iPod accessories, lens filters, permanent markers, you name it. Amongst the hodge-podge were three packets of blank 4x6 photo paper, which I decided could be consolidated. I flipped through each packet, because I had a bad habit of storing extra prints in them, and there it was-- the single image that started my entire journey into motion.

In the past three years, I hadn't been able to look at it without cringing or feeling gut-wrenching remorse, sadness, or embarrassment. Often, the sight of it would actually startle me. Tonight was incredibly different. It was odd. I was able to study it closely, without a single flicker of emotion. It was clean, crisp, simple-- and most importantly-- it was honest. I know you, I thought. I remember you. Finally, finally, after nearly three years, I smiled at the sight of myself, and I swear I felt my very soul exhale.

So what does one do to celebrate a moment like this? Well, she grabs a small loop of packing tape (because it's all she can find amongst the piles of moving boxes), and she slaps that 4x6 right onto her desk, so she never, ever forgets again what it feels like to breathe.